Inner Decisions

. . . journey into wholeness

Secrets: big and small

Keeping a secret can be deadly.

Dis-ease (stress) can cause disease. Horrible diseases like cardiac problems, breathing problems, cancer.


While there are a few things I haven’t heard, people have found I’m  a good person with whom to disclose their darkest secrets. Most secrets are ordinary sorts of things and I’ve heard them over and over. “I’m having an affair.” “I’m gay.” “I hate my husband.” “I screwed up at work and blamed it on somebody else.” “I said something really awful to someone now I feel very guilty.” “I spent our savings on something I shouldn’t have now I don’t know what to do.”


A few secrets have been more unique, and believe it or not, I’ve heard variations of each of these more than twice.

“I’ve been trying to poison my mother.”

“I’m a prostitute to make extra money.”

“When my mother was sick I became her angel of mercy. Then I killed two more people.”

“My husband is forcing me to have sex with other men so he can watch.”

“My son is not my husband’s child, or my boyfriend’s. They both think he is theirs. He looks exactly like his father.”

 “I stole $2,000 from my company.”

“I had sex with my brother on the night of my father’s funeral; we were 18 and 20. It was 20 years ago, but I still feel guilty.”

“I think I may have killed someone with my car. It was a long time ago. I was driving across the country and I never checked to see.”

The list goes on. I feel certain that people tell me things not to keep their secrets but because we find a way together to free them from how the secret is holding them in the self-made prison. After someone discloses a serious secret I ask, “What do you want to do about this?” The answers are, as you would expect, “I don’t know.” or “What can I do about it?” Rarely, does anyone ever say, “Nothing.”

We all have secrets. Some are complicated. Most fill us with shame. Shame that holds us hostage. There are ways to free people from shame. There are ways to heal the shame. Make an appointment with her spiritual life coaching

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