“I hate Zoom,” came the text from a good friend. I texted back, “Is there another platform for video chat that you like better?” Her answer, “Zoom is fine. I don’t like not being with people.”

Yep. I agree. Video chatting is most disagreeable. It’s harder to connect, it’s more difficult to pay attention, it is much easier to become distracted. If I’m in a meeting I have been conditioned to behave myself and conduct myself using publicly agreeable behavior.

However, because we have been forced to use video chat platforms, I do find them very useful. I would truly rather see the people I’m speaking with than just hear them on the phone. I don’t really like texting – I’m too old school for that. I like connecting with people from far away and have it seem like they are close by. I like visiting for an hour in a comfy chair and with messy hair. I like seeing my friends’ eyes smile or leaking with tears.

What do I miss most about hanging out with people? Silences, long pauses as people think; the gently silent casualness of true intimacy. I miss the awkward silences when people say an idiotic something or other. I miss sharing a meal and not needing to make small talk. I miss passing someone the salt. I miss touching an arm. Mostly, I miss listening to love.